maybe i'm not done having ideas after all.

a boss of mine once told me I’m “not a creative person”.

Another time, they credited me with having “the worst idea in the history of ideas”. Quite the accolade really.

It was obvious I was hurt, but as is often my coping mechanism, it became an office joke. The thing everyone laughed about. Including me.

The problem is, when you already struggle with confidence, opinions from people you care about tend to stick. Even years later.

So when I returned from my international tour ;) and knew it was finally time to launch Addicted to Padel, I was terrified.

Properly terrified.

Crippled with anxiety. Second guessing everything. Was I being stupid? Was I embarrassing myself? Was I really about to share this little project I’d built from scratch with the world?

What if people laughed?
What if nobody cared?
What if everyone who visited the website thought I’d genuinely never had a good idea in my life?

I couldn’t do it. I felt sick.

And when you feel like that, what else are you going to do besides go and play padel?

So off I went.

And somehow, with every point, every rally, every ball smashed into the glass, I felt lighter. All the fear and anxiety slowly started leaving my body.

I was wearing one of the #addicted hoodies and, as we walked off court, one of our opponents laughed and said:
“addicted… so true.”

We got chatting briefly and, naturally, I downplayed the whole thing massively.

“Oh, it’s just this little idea I had…”

But he was genuinely excited.
“This is brilliant.”

He asked if I had a business card.

I remember feeling completely dumbfounded.

People get it.
People identify with it.
Maybe this thing wasn’t ridiculous after all.

The timing honestly felt karmic.

I went home, pushed the website live, posted it on my socials and waited for the world to tell me I’d lost my mind.

Instead, I got messages full of support and encouragement from friends and family. People were kind. Really kind.

And do you know what? I felt proud.

Properly proud.

Because regardless of what happened next, this little idea in my head had become something real. A real brand. A real website. Real products. My vision, brought to life.

And to me at least… it looked good.

Now obviously, not everyone in life is going to cheer you on. I understand that.

But after launch, it suddenly felt like everything hit at once. There was an upsetting confrontation, my business partner realised they couldn’t commit anymore, then Google decided to throw a fit and suspend our Merchant Centre account for good measure.

I was gutted.

Honestly, it felt like all the joy had been stolen from the experience almost overnight. I felt small, foolish and very, very alone.

I didn’t even log into the website for three days.

I buried my head completely.

Then a dear friend messaged me after seeing the launch online and simply said they were proud of me.

Now, I know I should believe in myself more than I do. But sometimes hearing it from somebody else matters.

A few orders came in that week from friends and family.

Then my phone pinged again.

A complete stranger had found Addicted to Padel. They’d discovered the brand, visited the website, connected with the idea and spent their own hard-earned money buying something from my little online store.

I just sat there beaming.

Because suddenly it all felt real.

And for the first time in a very long time, I thought:

maybe I’m not done having ideas after all x